


:(

by diphtheria420



Category: United States of America - Fandom
Genre: AU (alternate United States), RSF(real state fic), anyway i hate this, yeah i copy and pasted my immortal but hey literature is literature
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:14:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29390367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diphtheria420/pseuds/diphtheria420
Summary: im just doing this to avoid the things I have to do
Relationships: delaware/ ohio
Comments: 19
Kudos: 100





	1. Chapter 1

Hi my name is Delaware Wil’Mington FirstState Blue Hen USA and I have a river running through me (that's how I got my name) that spans three other states (we’re besties) with lots of fish and a lot of people tell me I look like Rhode Island (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to West Virginia, USA but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a state but I’m really small. My state beverage is milk . I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Delaware Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a green flag with 2 guys fighthing over a cow on it, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. The Midwest stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.  
"Hey Delaware!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Ohio!  
"What's up Ohio?" I asked.  
"Nothing." he said shyly.  
But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again which reminded me of the nice Delaware weather back home. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was the Delaware flag. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant Blue Coats t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.  
My friend, Washington woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Twilight t-shirt with a flannel shirt, rain coat and rain boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)  
"OMFG, I saw you talking to Ohio yesterday!" she said excitedly.  
"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.  
"Do you like Ohio?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.  
"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.  
"Yeah right!" she exclaimed.  
Just then, Ohio walked up to me.  
"Hi." he said.  
"Hi." I replied flirtily.  
"Guess what." he said.  
"What?" I asked.  
"Well, the Delaware Music Educators Association are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.  
"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed.  
I love DMEA.  
They are my favorite band, besides MCR.  
"Well.... do you want to go with me?" he asked.  
I gasped.


	3. Chapter 3

On the night of the concert I put on my crocs with Jibbits in the shape of Delaware and high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. ThenI put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. The water of the Delaware River flowed out. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some DMEA. I painted my nails blue (like da blue hen!!!) and put on TONS of blue eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.  
I went outside. Ohio was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Ohio Christian Rock Festival t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).  
"Hi Ohio!" I said in a depressed voice.  
Hi Delawre." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Oklahoma!. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to DMEA.  
"You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom She sets you free into this life." sang little Timmy from the choir section  
"Timmy is so fucking hot." I said to Ohio, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.  
Suddenly Ohio looked sad.  
"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.  
"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.  
"Really?" asked Ohio sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.  
"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Timmy and he's going out with Cali fucking Fornia. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.  
The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Ohio. After the concert, we drank some milk and asked the christain rock guy and Timmy for their autographs and photos with them. We got DMEA concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into... the Forbidden Forest!


	4. Chapter 4

"OHIO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"  
Ohio didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.  
"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.  
"Delaware?" he asked.  
"What?" I snapped.  
Ohio leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic buckeye-colored eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.  
And then... suddenly just as I Ohio kissed me passionately. Ohio climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.  
"Oh! Oh! Oh!" I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then...  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"  
It was...Washington DC!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :( :( :( :( :( sorry


	5. Chapter 5

Washington DC made and Ohio and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.  
"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.  
I started to cry tears of river water down my pallid face. Ohio comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Pennsylvania and Professor Montana who were both looking very angry.  
"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.  
"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor Pennsylvania.  
"How dare you?" demanded Professor Montana.  
And then Ohio shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"  
Everyone was quiet. Washington DC and Professor Pennsylvania still looked mad but Professor Montana said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."  
Ohio and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.  
"Are you okay, Delaware?" Ohio asked me gently.  
"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut Ohio flag to show my love with red lace all around it and black high heels crocs. When I came out...  
Ohio was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing Lauren Daigle's hit song "You Say," which broke the record for time spent at No. 1 on Billboard's Hot Christian Songs chart with 73 weeks in a row.   
.I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.


End file.
